I have done this before and I will continue to do it because it is so darn funny.
I have been in a writing slump for almost a year now. I feel I have a good reason because of moving twice (one interstate and one local), plus I did help Pikes Peak Writers publish a book (check it out here).
Now that we have settled in our permanent home, I have realized I have basically not written much through all of it. Besides, I’ve also tried hitting the keyboard with little success. Now, you may ask, “How do you get over your slump?” Good question. I’ve been asking myself that for days now.
I have browsed through my usual haunts (social media, solitaire, news feeds), and find them to be less than inspiring. Today, I came across a site I haven’t visited for awhile, The Masterpiece Generator. It isn’t the most ideal place to find writing inspiration, but it certainly gave me a giggle. It’s a little like Mad Libs, but no one sees the results until you’re done. There are a few ways this can trip you up, but hey, it’s free and fun.
As you read this lovely masterpiece, keep in mind that this is somewhat unedited (I had to fix a couple of things because my OCD could not handle the grammar). So, I filled in the blanks and the program spit this out. Please don’t judge me…I really only provided a few of the words and the program slapped the rest out like a damp egg. (If you care to, here is the previous wonderous short story that Masterpiece Generator spit out.) Here are the results brought to you by, The Masterpiece Generator, The Short Story:
Two Optimistic Uncles Hiking to the Beat
A Short Story
by KJ Scrim (but more like…I only plugged in arbitrary words)
Karen Smitts looked at the heavy shoe in her hands and felt sad.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her dusty surroundings. She had always hated hot Catalina with its cooing, curly cactus. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel sad.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Michelle Victor. Michelle was a perky witch with an athletic nose and rotund toes.
Karen gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a brute, quiet, tea drinker with a slender nose and dirty blond toes. Her friends saw her as a silly, corned toad. Once, she had even rescued a damp egg from a burning building.
But not even a brute person who had once rescued a damp egg from a burning building, was prepared for what Michelle had in store today.
The dust storm teased like coiling scorpions, making Karen lonely.
As Karen stepped outside and Michelle came closer, she could see the pretty smile on her face.
“Look Karen,” growled Michelle, with a lying glare that reminded Karen of perky cougars. “I hate you and I want money. You owe me 2,796 dollars.”
Karen looked back, even more lonely and still fingering the heavy shoe. “Michelle, I know what you did,” she replied.
They looked at each other with frustrated feelings, like two frantic, famous frogs laughing at a very pessimist birthday, which had new age music playing in the background and two optimistic uncles hiking to the beat.
Karen regarded Michelle’s athletic nose and rotund toes. “I don’t have the funds …” she lied.
Michelle glared. “Do you want me to shove that heavy shoe where the sun don’t shine?”
Karen promptly remembered her brute and quiet values. “Actually, I do have the funds,” she admitted. She reached into her pockets. “Here’s what I owe you.”
Michelle looked bored, her wallet blushing like a breezy, brief ball.
Then Michelle came inside for a nice cup of tea.
THE END – OR IS IT?